Saturday, February 13, 2010

I am so on the fence with this...

OK, but...

OK, I was 15 when the original was out. I had the single, I had the ginormous wall poster. I didn't really follow much of the Ethiopian crisis except that I recall kids in school having jokes about it. I recall Sam Kinison's standup about it. I remember seeing the odd cross-section of musical artists, actors and whomever palmed Kenny Rogers a fiddy to get in the door. I remember wanting Cyndi Lauper and Bruce Springsteen strung up for contaminating what was otherwise a wonderful song with their musical pomposity.

I remember reading years later that if had it not been for Michael Jackson, the thing might never have been finished since he brought the win in the final hours before recording. In spite of the guy's fucked up personal life, he will always be remembered for a top-notch musical artist.

And I truly do get the issue of a remake--25th anniversary and all--Haiti wasn't as huge a tragedy as Ethiopia where millions were dying, and I sort of saw the original as an American answer to Geldof's Band-Aid, but I guess...nah, it's not for me to say whether it was really a good idea. The world is dealing with a lot of negative shit these days, and we need something positive and uplifting going on. Even still, I had issues. To wit:

I get having T-Pain's hand in things with the Autotune, but a metric shitload of it? I counted at least 10 instances, 2-5 maybes.

Pink. Josh Groban. Carlos Santana. Excellent choices. We needed more of the classic cast, but I get it: New generation, new artists.

Adam Levine does a perfect Stevie Wonder.

Streisand? Dammit all to Hell.

Janet, don't sing over your brother's vocals. Just leave the video clip there and step aside.

Jamie Foxx doing his impression of Ray Charles as what, homage? Kinda disrespectful if I may say so, especially with the body movements (maybe we can blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol, baby). Yes, you were excellent in Ray, so can we just move on?

Jeff Bridges: The Dan Aykroyd of the remake. And...Vince Vaughn? WTF?!

Brian Wilson has apparently discovered the secret to lichdom. I had no idea he was an archmage.

Rap music I get. It's the voice of all the young generations since the 1985 original. Kanye should have been blackballed. I guess his production skills still get him studio cred.

Celine Dion? I say Autotune, but it's too close to call. Pairing her next to Fergie is a bit of a slap in the face, though.

I'm sure it will be a phenomenal hit, not sure it will be the top selling single in the world, but we can hope so.

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