Monday, June 20, 2011

Beware my suckage...Green Lantern bites!

I tried not to be disappointed, but I was.  Now, as for a bit of background, I only got into Green Lantern a few years ago with the Sinestro Corps saga.  I have kept up with the series to present day, and I ended up going back a couple more years with the GL/GL Corps books to catch up on what had happened since the reboot.  I found myself liking the comic more and more.  While I'm rather disappointed with Brightest Day and where the stories have gone (much like my issues with all Marvel/DC books in the recent year), the characters remained fun for me to read about.  Here in a nutshell were my issues:

1) Leading mananoma. I am going to state that I marginally tolerate Ryan Reynolds. While he did a good bit with Deadpool in the Wolverine movie, the absolute shit-tastic way they changed him in the ending (taking away the mouth, Cyclops eyes, sword arms and bamfing) ruined the entire character. From Van Wilder to Blade III to whatever, he always seems on the verge of trying to get a laugh out of an impromptu public fart, so in a sense they should simply have kept him in the Wade Wilson mode and chosen ANYONE else (cough Nathan Fillion cough) to play Hal Jordan. 

2) Too much Carol Ferris. Hot chicks who can't act with the main lead ruin these films. There was a huge Anakin/Padme "sand speech" feel to every scene they had together. Can we also get some more Tim Robbins in there since he's a Big Name Star? Angela Bassett needed to be in a fat suit because Amanda Walker was HUGE. If they're going to put Hal's lover in the flick, at least give a nod to the Star Sapphire embodiment in the comics. 

3) Let's completely fuck with the GL continuity, shall we? One thing with all the myriad GL reboots has always remained constant: Sinestro was a good guy, then he rebelled and was banished, and then found a yellow ring to fight against the Lanterns. Hal was later possessed by Parallax, then was cured and restored the Corps. Very little of the "yellow impurity" aspect of the story was maintained, understandably so. Parallax was an alien entity as old as time, NOT a corrupted Guardian, and its goal was to possess Hal Jordan because Hal had that special goodness the entity coveted and wanted to destroy. They could have kept the comic-true storyline and just worked around it. Make Parallax look like this and not like this.  You can still give it Clancy Brown's voice, but at least it would have looked cooler and not like some throwback FX cheat from Fantastic Four II. 

4) But it kinda redeems itself. Sort of.  The FX were the only thing that saved the movie, IMHO. Bugger all that crap about Hal's crisis of courage and responsibility, I enjoyed seeing the characterizations of Kilowog, Tomar-Re and the other Lanterns, not to mention the fun Hal had with all his constructs. Sinestro's makeup was horrid, and what I figured would be the easiest alien to mimic with a real actor turned into complete mauve shit. What was otherwise an excellent actor became buried in poorly-done head makeup. Henshaw was decently done, but under-utilized given his long-standing enmity with Jordan; not to mention the guy is still alive int he comics...quit killing off the villains you insipid movie bastards!

5) WTF happened to my ending? Did they somehow run out of money, because the ending was as abrupt and undeserved as any superhero movie I'd ever seen. They could have had a kick-ass ending with Jordan flying through his sector, encountering new star systems, hearing a call from the ring, and responding to something on Planet Whatchamacallit. Epic fail.

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