"All right, you corn-nuts, let's see what you got"...

So by now a lot of people have indicated their displeasure with the film Kick-Ass, based on the comic of the same name.

There are times in America, most notably "Nipplegate" from the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show in 2004, where I facepalm over the apparent ignorance of the American viewing public. We can watch a four-hour extravaganza of men slamming against other men over who has possession of a ball of cowhide, interspersed with a number of flowerly commercials about erectile dysfunction, but suddenly a 2 second shot of a female breast is what signals the death-knell of America as we know it. Americans can see dozens of simulated murders, rapes and assaults on prime-time television every week, but show a few seconds of a buttock--male or female--and that's a travesty of entertainment.

But back to the film, for which I don't understand all the bashing. The language was no worse than what I've heard junior-high kids speaking (and this from 1982, mind you), and it's all over any Myspace or Facebook page you see written by teenagers. Also, for the unenlightened idiots out there--the writer of the comic is Scottish. In the U.K., the C-word is no more heinous than calling someone an asshole in the U.S.. It's used prolifically by men and women of all ages over there, even more during football games.

However, since it was scripted to come out of the mouth of a 10-year-old female vigilante assassin, it's somehow the worst thing in the universe, ever and we are all weaker as a species because of it. The violence of the film still pales in comparison to the slasher porn from Saw and related flicks that any teenager sees on a given weekend (or whichever tween manages to sneak it in past an ignorant parent during a trip to Blockbuster). Adults and reviewers often have misplaced priorities when considering the ultimate theme of the film, and in this case their response was true to form.

YouTube channel for the "literal music videos": Substituting lyrics for the video that simply describe exactly what is on the screen. I highly recommend "Total Eclipse of the Heart," mainly because of the dancing ninjas.

Relationship Tech Support

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What really killed the dinosaurs...

I like it. It makes a lot of sense. Teach the controversy ;-)

Here for the original source.

I am so on the fence with this...

OK, but...

OK, I was 15 when the original was out. I had the single, I had the ginormous wall poster. I didn't really follow much of the Ethiopian crisis except that I recall kids in school having jokes about it. I recall Sam Kinison's standup about it. I remember seeing the odd cross-section of musical artists, actors and whomever palmed Kenny Rogers a fiddy to get in the door. I remember wanting Cyndi Lauper and Bruce Springsteen strung up for contaminating what was otherwise a wonderful song with their musical pomposity.

I remember reading years later that if had it not been for Michael Jackson, the thing might never have been finished since he brought the win in the final hours before recording. In spite of the guy's fucked up personal life, he will always be remembered for a top-notch musical artist.

And I truly do get the issue of a remake--25th anniversary and all--Haiti wasn't as huge a tragedy as Ethiopia where millions were dying, and I sort of saw the original as an American answer to Geldof's Band-Aid, but I guess...nah, it's not for me to say whether it was really a good idea. The world is dealing with a lot of negative shit these days, and we need something positive and uplifting going on. Even still, I had issues. To wit:

I get having T-Pain's hand in things with the Autotune, but a metric shitload of it? I counted at least 10 instances, 2-5 maybes.

Pink. Josh Groban. Carlos Santana. Excellent choices. We needed more of the classic cast, but I get it: New generation, new artists.

Adam Levine does a perfect Stevie Wonder.

Streisand? Dammit all to Hell.

Janet, don't sing over your brother's vocals. Just leave the video clip there and step aside.

Jamie Foxx doing his impression of Ray Charles as what, homage? Kinda disrespectful if I may say so, especially with the body movements (maybe we can blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol, baby). Yes, you were excellent in Ray, so can we just move on?

Jeff Bridges: The Dan Aykroyd of the remake. And...Vince Vaughn? WTF?!

Brian Wilson has apparently discovered the secret to lichdom. I had no idea he was an archmage.

Rap music I get. It's the voice of all the young generations since the 1985 original. Kanye should have been blackballed. I guess his production skills still get him studio cred.

Celine Dion? I say Autotune, but it's too close to call. Pairing her next to Fergie is a bit of a slap in the face, though.

I'm sure it will be a phenomenal hit, not sure it will be the top selling single in the world, but we can hope so.

I could comment a lot about this video:

and I could also comment on this response:

but I won't on either, because they have similar yet different messages. My answer is this:

Men, there are things you do that drive your ladies batshit crazy.

Ladies, same goes for your idiosyncrasies and how men sometimes scratch their heads.

And yet, the human race perpetuates itself. Even for gay couples, there are aspects to personality that drive the other person up a wall. And again, boy still meets girl (or boy), and vice versa. Whether it's sociological or biological, we're genetically driven to put up with each other's crap. The men have their day in the sun, and I know the ladies do too.

If you manage to have 75, even 90% alignment with the interests and sensitivities of your significant other, then congratulations, you represent 0.05% of the population and these videos should do nothing except insult your situation and make you more thankful you don't deal with these sorts of things. For the rest of us, compromise is just another aspect to a relationship, and how we deal with it (either through venting or driving fast in a huge sportscar) is part of how we keep it alive.

How Back to the Future should have ended...

Marty McFly takes the grandfather paradox out a whole new door...courtesy of Collegehumor.com.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.